...and the whole world was standing still and the moon was turning red..."

The fact that upon returning home to Tasmania, the island experienced the hottest day ever recorded- 41.3 c., should teach me to not joke about the difference between Stockholm and Hobart.  Yes, the season are reversed, but normally we do not go from one of the coldest winters to one of the hottest summers- however this year that was the truth.

The day that was 30 c. plus we took to the beach with its cool waters.

For this 41.3 c. we went to the movies which is one of the only air conditioned places I know of.  I felt the guilt of not being in the fire zone.  Of course any fire can reach even where we live- and in 1967 the fires were above even the central business district of town.  This is one of the reasons people do not take containment of a fire for granted.  I am not a native- so I do not have inherent worries about fires.  I understand, because as a Californian I do have that inherent panic from my experiences in earthquakes.  In fact, it is that sense of unease that I feel when the world goes still, and the hot air is oppressive and one can feel the threat, only here that threat is fire not earthquake.

I have learned that the land here- not only recovers from fire, most of the land is reinvigorated by it.  These are gum trees not oaks or redwoods.  I also learned that 'my' fire plan - "walk into the bay"- is an actual plan.  I was joking but apparently...

Basically- people have to either leave as soon as the threat begins or is anticipated or they need to stay and know how to defend their house.

This is harder if you are surrounded by acres and acres of bush- as opposed to us, being surrounded by other houses.  Houses which here are commonly brick not wood construction.

 Meanwhile, as you can see by these tasty and pretty cupcakes, Zok is happy.  The first thing I did when I got home was to put on a record, and then I picked some lemons so I could make lemonade.

 The farmers market, Sundays- in town continues to grow.  I bought two nice bottles of wine for my Finnish by way of Sweden- currently living in Sydney guest who arrive late next week.  We also bought; cherries, bosenberries, blueberries, gooseberries, and late season seedlings for the garden.  I had an iced-coffee (!), and a man next to me said 'Ah that looks like a spider.' and I was so happy to explain the difference between the two.  For my first six years in Australia all I ever got was someone explaining a 'spider' to me when explaining why I couldn't simply have iced-coffee.

Also note the cute food trailer- an idea that years ago everyone I know told me would never work in Tazzy.

 

 

"...they ought to make you wear a sign, Danger T-N-T..."

When I helped move some skaters into the place I like to refer to as the 'Derby Mansion', I did not realize that the house, and most buildings on the small island- once belonged to Albert Nobel.

Nobel was the inventor of dynamite, and in whose name the Nobel Prize is given.

The house was his laboratory.  There is a good cafe across the park which was the site of his factory.

When I first saw the house, all I could wonder at was that the owner left behind not just glassware, and expensive, lovely curtains but items such as a grand piano.

It was all very impressive - but of course if the internet is correct he had more than one factory over the years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Nobel 

The whole area is pretty, and the coffee at the cafe is good. To get to the house or cafe you have to walk through the woods, and there is a water view from most angles.

I was curious to see how the house would fare for parties- as with six skaters virtually all of the league would be actually not casually connected by at least one person.

I managed to be sick the only time I felt up to going to a party there.

I am sure they have been good ones- but sometimes or maybe more accurately, often the idea of a large party and easily a 10-15 year gap in the median age just seems plain exhausting to me.

Vinterviken Cafe is now a favorite of mine. 

http://www.winterviken.se/conference-banqueting-stockholm 

I feel lucky when I come across some place by chance, or luck, or through derby.  I still need to take Zok there, but this place is on a list of several...better luck in 2013!

 

 

Christmas here, Christmas there...

Stockholm continues to have more and more snow.

I dug out our door that leads to the terrace to rescue some forgotten summer furniture and to dig out the BBQ.

However, we have had snowfall since then so you can not tell I did anything and the snow is piled up against the windows again.

Zok and I have decided that this is the most and the least Christmas-y Christmas of all time.  I love all the huge Christmas trees that are in almost every square. 

Mostly because we were both away from either home until the 15th, followed by Zok and I getting food poisoning from our (no longer) favorite Ramen place.  If we had made any plans we would have had to break them as Zok is still sick and this is day four.

I am better but Zok is mostly curled up in a ball- moaning or worse.

I was hoping Chester would have a dusting of snow while I was there but I was out of luck.

Meanwhile in the snow here we have a neighbor that is quite good at snow sculpting.

Merry Christmas to all-

We will soon experience the shock of traveling from weather that is -12 to +23...

 

...and the bell was ringing in the village square...

My relationship with snow is more accurately a sort of fake- movie and song lyric inspired relationship.  Sort of like when a person is such a fan they convince themselves that they truly are in love with this actor or that- when of course they can only be in love with second hand information and characters portrayed by said actor.

Okay, sure - I had a flirtation some time in the 1970s, in one of those midwestern states as in "maybe it was Ohio? No-no was it Indiana?..."

But how could snow love me? The kid from the coast that did not know about snow reports of school closures, sitting each snow day waiting at a bus stop until some friendly midwesterntype pulled over to say "Hey- Kid! There's no school today!".
 

But I know this- maybe other people are more constant, more present in your life but I am pretty sure I am the only one that actually sings  out loud as I tromp through your banks.  Who laughs when I slip on your icy bits. Who stands in the middle of the road thinking 'glitter! glitter! magic wonderland! sparkle! sparkle!' in perverse wonderment.

 

"Promise me something, kill me right away if I start to get slow, ...kill me right away its the least you can do..."

Here are the things that I still do not understand about 'Sport'.

(Although I truly believe I know why 'to play sport' and to 'be' sport and to make sport of someone all fits under this one word.)

I don't understand the emotions.

I don't understand letting go all the comments said in the heat of the moment.  Because mean-spirited, mean words, don't dissipate into thin air.  Then work there way into your mind and your dreams.

I don't understand wanting, needing, something (a move?  a dash of glory?) so much.

I don't understand that losing a game can mean so much.

I think a true sports person about now would point out that the writer of these comments is not great at sport.

I suppose they might not even go so far- perhaps not understanding is where the line is drawn.

So within all this understanding or misunderstanding or not being able to understand where am I?
 

I care too much for what others think and feel, and too little for myself.

This is a flaw and I think I am good for acknowledging the flaw.

I also think I am at a point in my life where I would rather withdraw.

Because let me tell you - I am not actually prone to boredom.

Okay- Okay ! I can hear you pointing to certain times- certain wintery, solitary times on the island.  But, I will protest.  The time was extreme and I have learned better.  But I was never actually bored.  My life was just so different with the absence of an over-active social life.

Quitting the field because you are unhappy qualifies as a win in my un-sportslike mind.

Also- the whole sport thing has made me soft.

When people are mean my reaction is shock.

My 30-something self would have reacted defensively and aggressively.  See how I just used those sport words?

I think I was doing better at the sport of life.

From this post you might think my team lost another game- actually the team won one, and barely lost the second.
I was not on the track a lot, but I was unfortunately, on for the last jam that cost us the game.
If I look at the derby year selfishly?  Then hey! Look at me- hanging around mid-forties, possibly more physically fit than I have ever been.  I helped with a lot of fund raising for a league I respect.
I have made a few- good, and actual friends.
There is a lot of winning in there as soon as I shake off this emotional hangover.
 

"Auld Reekie your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind."

My original b-team teammates that were going with me to cheer on our A-team both got rostered onto the A-team for the three day first European WFTDA tournament in Berlin.

But two former A-team members came to my rescue.

So the three of us took charge of the cheering squad.

The last time I went to Berlin was for a roller skating bootcamp run by Swede Hurt and Suzy Hot Rod, I was so tired that I missed out on sightseeing and this time- there was just no time.

Although I did get a wider, and better look at the city which is (from a glance) much cooler than many other European cities.

Yes, yes, all cities especially in Europe have claim to history, historic events and sites, castles, majestic homes and art.  But these days they usually also have a main street (or high street) that is blotted by the repetition of chain stores, junk gifts, and fashion that is the same throughout thousands of miles.  Whereas Berlin seemed fairly free of this, there were small coffee shops and hip coffee shops, and themed coffee shops but no starbucks/waynes/tullys in sight.

Berlin is officially on my list for a short break exploration.

But on to my main topic.

Derby.

STRD ranked third of the ten WFTDA leagues that played over the three days.  A lot of derby gets decided by which team ends up in the penalty box.  And as a new and growing sport the reffing is one of the trickiest aspects of roller derby.  STRD played really exciting games to watch, the scores were close and the games came down to literally the last minutes of the game.

Most of the higher ranked derby teams I get to watch in teeny-tiny form on my computer via a connection/stream/whatever that may or may not be from a good angle or a good feed.  But to see all those skaters full size!

I do think I know a bit about derby.  But so much of derby gets disseminated into small chunks.  So there was a lot that the London Roller Girls (who outstripped all teams they played by margins of between 400 to +500 points) did on their skates that made me think "Oh Right! That is what that drill should look like!".  By this I mean Swedehurt and Mad Maloony do a great job of breaking down a skill like running on toestops to get through a small space between skaters or a skater and out of bounds-but seeing so many of the London skaters doing just that over an over made it all go 'CLICK!' in my head.

This of course does not mean my body can do it- but I have a vision of what that body is supposed to do.

I had a great time watching, learning and cheering.

There are only rare moments in my life I have felt 'a part' of something bigger than myself.  Certain concerts I helped put on- some protests or awareness/charity projects like 'Home Alive' and now Roller Derby.

My part has been small- yet one can not measure the effect that these small parts make.  Also I can clearly remember being in my car with Pip and Elissa and our dream was so small, a venue we could properly scrimmage in, and enough skaters to be able to scrimmage.

So much has happened since then, for all of us.

There are 3 bouting leagues in Tasmania now.

I got to spend almost two years (!) with a wftda league that has talent way beyond my pay grade.  I got to find out what kind of skater I could be with consistent, hard training.  I got to experience the lifestyle of my twenties self in the middle of my forties self and now know what I am not missing.  (I mean that in the nicest way).

I am currently still experiencing city life in way that when I say 'Sure, it is small a bit slow but Tasmania is a paradise'-I really mean it.

There is a B-team (that's me!) double header this Saturday.

Then I travel to see Cookie and her family in Wales for a week.

Then finally, I get a husband who will actually have some time off.

Then we go to Tasmania and it will be 2013.

How the hell did that happen?

*One last thing- the matching warm up track suits that STRD are now sporting.  I can not really explain them, but I think the experience for me was summed up by my girl Betty Bamalam who noted that most women joining roller derby wear items such as fishnets for the first time...but for me...it has been about wearing sport clothing for the first time.

Alla helgons dag

Zok is home for a couple of weeks, but is working most of the time.  We did take time out to have a small dinner party and go light candles for All Souls Day.

 When I have been here in Stockholm this time of year, I have always walked through the cemeteries in town-which are also lit up with candles and offerings, however we now live close to Skogskrykogården which is a very large, very pretty cemetery.  I marveled at the hundreds of candles grouped together at each cemetery.  However-
Skogskrykogården has thousands- and they expect and set up areas for anyone who has loved ones buried too far away for them to get back too.

http://www.skogskyrkogarden.se/en/ 

Last year we were attracted by all the candles that we could see from inside the train as we came to that subway stop.

http://sajtiaspeaks.blogspot.se/2011/11/what-comes-after-all-saints-day-all.html 

This year we invited friends to dinner, so we could all go and light candles together.

The subway stop was so crowded that there were subway police stopping all two way traffic, people were allowed time to exit or enter and we were a large crush of people.

Again the fire lanterns were very popular, and although they are very pretty, I still can not get let go of the idea of 'littering' whenever I see them go en masse into the air.  

My Swedish friends keep insisting that this is autumn, and nothing like winter.  But I am struggling to not sleep 10-12 hours with all this quiet, darkness and cold.  The mist in the evenings is very pretty but I do not think I have gotten the knack of being out in the elements.

I certainly did not pack correctly for this trip so I am always cobbled together, tights, socks, boots, short sleeve, long sleeve, sweat shirt, light rain coat, on and on, layer by layer.

My mind keeps saying 'You really have not had a winter- you need to hibernate, sleep, sleep, sleep'.

But of course I went to practice yesterday, and I have to recognize that being sick and not exercising for the last two weeks really did have an impact.  I know I overly tired when I wish for a referee to send me to the box for a penalty so I can have a full sixty seconds to rest.

Practice tonight should be better.

And for me...summer is only 50 odd days away from today.