Early on in my time here on the small island, I learned that I had to trick myself.
I cannot put into words the feeling I get, knowing that I can spend days, or weeks without talking to another person.
Yes, sure, I can talk to the woman at the post office. Even just this week I know that she has just come back after two weeks of vacation, which she spent here locally, and that she has children.
But this is not exactly a exchange of ideas, I don't really consider it a true conversation.
I am not even here alone for any long period of time, but the unhappiness that started to creep into my psyche the last time I was- is still malingering.
I knew this, I knew I was coming off a week of good conversation and house guests. Zok was leaving for a tour. I saw the potential-
So I made plans, I made appointments, I wrote a list of goals.
I went to Roller Derby practice, and all was good.
I hung out after practice at the pub.
Then the next day I tried to upgrade my operating system-without first backing up my computer.
Then this caused me to be a bit late leaving my house for my appointment, which was then going to be followed by a nice day out with some friends.
Then my car wouldn't start.
A few other small hassles happened and now Friday has become almost the next Friday and I can't tell you what I did with those days.
I slept.
A lot.
I cleaned.
A little.
I read one or two books.
I read some letters, I wrote some replies.
I ate.
Very little.
I drank.
Maybe, too much.
Perhaps by not having a winter- I missed some needed hibernation.
Maybe, I have good physical health, but sometimes get a sick mental-state week.
I can't quite see myself clear yet- but perhaps sharing is the first step.
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