"...now you got the right records...and you got the right shoes...you look so good...but that's all you do..."

In the time I have been back in Tasmania, most of the art in MONA has changed.
Of course this makes the fact that I have gone four times in three months make a lot more sense.
Recently Zok and I took one of his nieces. This was her first museum visit.

I am busy getting ready to return to Stockholm.
My calendar is already full starting from the day I land.
I feel as if I am on the cusp of some new life change.

I planted a new kangaroo paw plant.
Pink paw.
I didn't know that kangaroo paw came in that color.

"Well, I tried to make it Sunday but I just got so damned depressed that I set my sights on Monday..."

Early on in my time here on the small island, I learned that I had to trick myself.

I cannot put into words the feeling I get, knowing that I can spend days, or weeks without talking to another person.
Yes, sure, I can talk to the woman at the post office. Even just this week I know that she has just come back after two weeks of vacation, which she spent here locally, and that she has children.
But this is not exactly a exchange of ideas, I don't really consider it a true conversation.

I am not even here alone for any long period of time, but the unhappiness that started to creep into my psyche the last time I was- is still malingering.

I knew this, I knew I was coming off a week of good conversation and house guests. Zok was leaving for a tour. I saw the potential-
So I made plans, I made appointments, I wrote a list of goals.
I went to Roller Derby practice, and all was good.
I hung out after practice at the pub.
Then the next day I tried to upgrade my operating system-without first backing up my computer.
Then this caused me to be a bit late leaving my house for my appointment, which was then going to be followed by a nice day out with some friends.
Then my car wouldn't start.
A few other small hassles happened and now Friday has become almost the next Friday and I can't tell you what I did with those days.
I slept.
A lot.
I cleaned.
A little.
I read one or two books.
I read some letters, I wrote some replies.
I ate.
Very little.
I drank.
Maybe, too much.

Perhaps by not having a winter- I missed some needed hibernation.
Maybe, I have good physical health, but sometimes get a sick mental-state week.

I can't quite see myself clear yet- but perhaps sharing is the first step.

"How many times must you be told? That there is nowhere that we don't go."

"What's a pretty girl like you doing racing in a place like this?"

"Winning."

I have had the pleasant company of two skaters from Rose City Derby staying with me this last week.
We have had some good talks about Junior Derby. The ongoing growth and direction of Roller Derby and all the might go along with the new changes that seem to be happening at a very fast pace.

To learn about them and they vast ongoing adventures, look here:

http://brutalbeautybootcamptour.blogspot.com.au/

Their league is in Portland, Oregon. So we have common ground wrapped up in the mythos of "The Northwest".
I have had a good time showing up the natural beauty of my neighborhood and they were perfect viewing company for the new exhibit at MONA.
Good wine and even better art.
Mostly I have been busy in my hostess duties, so if you are curious what we have been doing check out the blog link above.

To check out the art that I loved from the visiting exhibit, go here:
http://www.wimdelvoye.be/
I suggest checking out the 'Tim' Tattoo shop and also the x-rays.

P.S.
If you were wondering, or guessing, yes I took a picture of myself below an art exhibit because I thought the lighting was flattering.
So there.

"I felt you leaving through one thousand yawning miles"

This is how good my preserves still look after a year - I am feeling quite proud.
This is 2012's first strawberry blended margarita- Zok said 10 for taste 6 for presentation because I forgot to put sugar on the rim of the glass.

This is what our farmers market produce looks like, pretty for certain, but tastier even than it looks.

This is where I currently skate- locally- I like to listen to 'The Who', and practice turning the "other" way. I like the wind, and I dislike the tan lines I get from wearing safety gear.

This is where I sit on the beach.

"I just had an idea, but its very fragile."

I am very busy eating a container of blueberries each day. Blueberries are in season, cheap, and found everywhere, but I like this store that is on the way to the tip. Tip- means junkyard, or dump, but also handles recycling, green waste and has a second hand shop.

"On the smooth brown hair was a hat that had been taken from its mother too young."

Here I am- on my back watching the intricate way that clouds move, change shape, and re-form again.

The only sound is bird song and waves.

I should be at the beach but somehow I can't quite go those extra few hundred yards...yet.

I ate a lunch comprised of the best tasting fruit and vegetables that I have had since well since the last time I was here.

Australia like California is a place of fire. There is always a feeling of its dangerous landscape, not 'if' the fire comes but 'when' the fire comes.

There is always this threat of natural disaster lurking in the landscape of paradise.

Whereas Stockholm, Stockholm has buildings older than both any building in either California or Australia.

A city of cold stone, persevering through the ages.

Here at the end of the globe where the phone never rings, pajamas are de rigueur and the second bottle of wine practically opens itself, there is always time enough to think about unanswered questions.

So I try to remember what happiness is here.

I fill the house with flowers cut from the garden.

I open the windows and doors to let the winds scatter sand through the house.

I try not to feel guilty about months of activity reflected in the guilt of my untended garden.

I look for solace in the plants that thrived under the conditions of neglect.

The butterfly bush, kangaroo paw and the lilac tree.

I promise myself that tomorrow I will return to the ocean waters and all will be washed clean.

"All aboard the night train."

We had friends over during the early darkness for home made Mexican food.
This is one of the only meals that Zok lets me do any cooking for.
I made beans, spanish rice, and flour tortillas.
Zok made steak fajitas, sauted peppers guacamole, and churros! (Well the churros need some work as this was a first attempt, I will put up the recipe when we get them right-still tasty of course).
Our guests came with beers, and very cute presents.
Also we finally had an excuse to open the nice bottle of tequila we lugged from 'who can remember' duty free airport shopping.
I decided in my mid-thirties I could no longer drink cheap anything out of plastic anything, so I bought some glasses second hand so that we could drink all night from glassware.
We had a really nice long dinner followed by watching fireworks from a roof top in town. We packed up our cold (Swedish people really do store their drinks on window ledges and balconies to keep them cold) beer and champagne and glasses and headed for the train station.

The night was perfect.
Really cold and clear, with just a slight moon.
Someone from our building put lights all through our courtyard.
Many businesses or people having parties announce the party by setting out these large candles at each side of the door. They are large and round, and do not blow out, they look a bit like the large citronella candles that come in a tin.
Fireworks are legal and sold all over the city.
In my years of taking New Years Eve off, coupled with living in a country were only professional displays of fireworks are allowed (think Sydney Harbor Bridge), I missed how fancy store bought fireworks have become.
From our vantage point on the roof we could see miles of skyline so that fireworks were going off at every point we could see.
We also had some going off right in front of us, at eye level.
Chinese lanterns were filling the sky minutes before the fireworks started.
Honestly, the sight was one of the most beautiful artificial displays I have ever seen.
I also had a feeling of being a part of a large city- all of us doing the same thing at the same time.
It was a lovely moment in time.
Of course my iPhone camera could not do any of these images justice.
Going home after midnight, the trains and train stations were filled with people.
Just as Zok was stating how terrible it must be for the train drivers, our driver's voice came over the loud speaker, full of good cheer and pep he shouted "All aboard the night train!".
Happy 2012 all.