Monday, February 13, 2017

"Look how absurd I was when I was young" forestalls cruel criticism but it falsifies history."

Certainly, with the way I am feeling "Hazardous Edge Ahead" could have been the title for this post, however, I took a moment to go back a few years within my blog at the last five years of what I posted in February. This is usually a comfort, because my personal, internal sense of time is always off, I am too emotional a creature to have clarity-so thank you internet technology.  

Soon we have to pack up the contents of our house, which will be stored, box by box, book shelf by book shelf, into a shipping container set in our driveway.
We will leave to go camping, or couch surfing, ahead of our next 'land care' volunteer trip to Maria Island.  Thus vacating for the 5-10 days needed for the repairs on the house.  February seems to be a normal time for both house repairs and changes, as well as going to Maria Island to volunteer.

I was just on Maria having finally gotten to take a 'main-lander'- to the island.
Maria, the same as the rest of Tasmania is still enduring a huge surge in visitors.
The government of tourism stated: 1.19 million visitors (so twice the population) and a 3% increase from the mainland, raising that number above 1 million visitors. I have heard rumours that a new ferry (90 seats!) will be taking passengers from Triabunna to the island, this will make 3 public ferries, and the 1 private (a luxury all inclusive tour company). I am writing about this as a reminder to my future self, as truly the changes in our town, and our state feel (have I written this already?) like it is changing at the same exponential rate that Seattle did when I lived there in the 1990s.

We are trying to recover from our recent loss- taking stock of our options- and how to find a sense of security that we can move forward with into the next half of our lives.  I think the idea of that the Queen (U.K.) sends out letters to her citizens that reach 100 years of age- has cemented me to the idea that 50 years of age is a half way mark.
 I can not clearly express the tangle in my brain that I am trying to unravel to find out what I believe about aging.  I know I should feel lucky, and most days I do.  I know I rather deal with a bit of stress if that stress means I am facing decisions that need to be made.  But mostly I want to sit somewhere pretty and read a book.
 Which I did get to do while on Maria.

I will get some more reading done during our camping adventure.
Our very first actual camping adventure, together.
We are having storms, and violent bursts of rain instead of the usual sunny, hot February, but of course we are closer now to March - which can be very rainy.
Luckily, tents are good places to be when it rains.
Also, we can always go in the ocean, and then we might not even notice that it is raining.

Also, from the "my husband is a feeder" headlines:

 The apricot pastry was so good, that it was worth every bit of snarly feelings I had at the gym the morning after.