The sun is starting to set earlier as January moves on, still the darkness isn't thick until 10 p.m. and the sun is blazing brightly through my bedroom window by 6 a.m. I could say I've grown accustom to the light of Summer and perhaps I have, but still there are effects. Even though my life is free form, much more than ever before, I find myself trying to hold to a work day. My mind wanders to old places at certain hours whether I consciously try to do otherwise. I still think of each day as increments of hours that need to be made worthwhile by being arranged into a plan. When I woke today the temperature was warmer at 9 a.m. then it had been in days and days. When the rain came in and my gardening plans turned into listening to records while lying on the floor, still the day remained warm. By 5 p.m. the sun was out and warm became hot so I went to the beach with my dinner.
However, all that cloud cover made the sea cold, and turned the clear water a slate gray color that makes me think of jelly fish. I do love to look at a jelly fish from a dock, but I don't want to rub up against one. This is the same sort of fear that stops me from night swimming. I did not stay in the water long. Definitely not as long as a woman I see there often (who is much older than I am, and yet has much sleeker legs). No, I surely spent much longer on the beach than in the water. Eating my sandy-sandwich and drinking my beer while lazily listening to a audio book, still I was home and showered by 7:30 p.m.
I think I'll miss something if I start watching a movie while the sun is up, yet I've no problem doing just that if I have someone around to watch the movie with. Watching movies in the daylight feels a bit like drinking alone. Often I find that I am going to bed at 2 a.m. because I start watching movies so late. By contrast, in Winter when the darkness is securely surrounding me by 5 p.m., I find myself watching all the movies I want and still going to bed at 11 p.m. I find myself wondering at how my day becomes dictated by weather and light.
I did not find the album that I wanted to listen to-some piece of childhood classic rock that only sounds real if listened to in its vinyl incarnation. I can not help but feel the nagging thoughts about the Australian governments plans to limit certain internet access via some pressuring of the ISP servers, as limitations stem from big businesses being unable to control what they perceive as loss of revenue. Revenue from peer sharing, peer sharing which could be called free advertising, or built in marketing. How many times have I bought the same piece of music? Replacing lost copies, melted vinyl, scratched CDs, buying 45s, then the record, then the cassette and later CDs. Purchasing yet another cleverly re-packaged movie or music? Not to mention the countless movies, t.v shows and music releases NOT released here in Australia. Daily I try to access some website only to find that I am blocked due to my ISP address showing I am not in the U.S.
Is the indignation that wells up inside me an American fabrication that I should be able to read, watch, or buy anything that I want? Have I not been a hardworking, correctly consuming person throughout my life? Perhaps I am not that shallow, and the root of my feelings lie in not being able to choose.
I am better off swimming with the jelly fish then worrying about missing the webisodes of Chuck. Still, I feel like the girl no longer invited to the party.
However, all that cloud cover made the sea cold, and turned the clear water a slate gray color that makes me think of jelly fish. I do love to look at a jelly fish from a dock, but I don't want to rub up against one. This is the same sort of fear that stops me from night swimming. I did not stay in the water long. Definitely not as long as a woman I see there often (who is much older than I am, and yet has much sleeker legs). No, I surely spent much longer on the beach than in the water. Eating my sandy-sandwich and drinking my beer while lazily listening to a audio book, still I was home and showered by 7:30 p.m.
I think I'll miss something if I start watching a movie while the sun is up, yet I've no problem doing just that if I have someone around to watch the movie with. Watching movies in the daylight feels a bit like drinking alone. Often I find that I am going to bed at 2 a.m. because I start watching movies so late. By contrast, in Winter when the darkness is securely surrounding me by 5 p.m., I find myself watching all the movies I want and still going to bed at 11 p.m. I find myself wondering at how my day becomes dictated by weather and light.
I did not find the album that I wanted to listen to-some piece of childhood classic rock that only sounds real if listened to in its vinyl incarnation. I can not help but feel the nagging thoughts about the Australian governments plans to limit certain internet access via some pressuring of the ISP servers, as limitations stem from big businesses being unable to control what they perceive as loss of revenue. Revenue from peer sharing, peer sharing which could be called free advertising, or built in marketing. How many times have I bought the same piece of music? Replacing lost copies, melted vinyl, scratched CDs, buying 45s, then the record, then the cassette and later CDs. Purchasing yet another cleverly re-packaged movie or music? Not to mention the countless movies, t.v shows and music releases NOT released here in Australia. Daily I try to access some website only to find that I am blocked due to my ISP address showing I am not in the U.S.
Is the indignation that wells up inside me an American fabrication that I should be able to read, watch, or buy anything that I want? Have I not been a hardworking, correctly consuming person throughout my life? Perhaps I am not that shallow, and the root of my feelings lie in not being able to choose.
I am better off swimming with the jelly fish then worrying about missing the webisodes of Chuck. Still, I feel like the girl no longer invited to the party.
4 comments:
What a great posting, Colleen - and I love the photo. I can not wait to make Roberto read your thoughts on watching movies during day light hours. He makes fun of me for this all the time. Worse yet, I find watching some movies during daylight hours acceptable, while others are absolutely off limits while the sun is still up. He often asks, "Um, is this a nighttime movie?"
this is roberto. monte didn't read your blog very carefully to see that you would watch a movie during the day if you had someone to watch it with...monte refuses to watch movies with me during the day...i think it's some part of his puritanical upbringing. be prepared to watch a movie marathon when we visit...monte is screaming "NOOO!" behind me right now...when he wasn't proofing/editing this comment.
If and when I can talk Zok into a matinee viewing of a film, we always have the discussion of which films are acceptable to watch by day light hours. One can see how rich people (with the means for black out curtains and mini-theaters in the house) might lose themselves without having the parameters to which we must adhere.
Uriah is a no matinee kind of guy. I also like that picture and your recliner. My rule is that I don't like going in when it's light and coming out when it's dark.
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